Helge’s Substack
Helge’s Substack
PART FOUR: VOICE RECORDING "I'M LOOKING FOR MY COUNTRY"
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PART FOUR: VOICE RECORDING "I'M LOOKING FOR MY COUNTRY"

PART FOUR OF SIX

Take away the rules and we get some IDIOTIC MALE with illusions of ADEQUACY

practising every form of MISCONCEPTION and won’t someone give me a clue

as to where I am going to find my very own PENIS?

It all depends on whose side you’re on if you are not on the one

you’re an enemy of the other and I cannot think of anything more INHOSPITABLE

but if you’re on MINE you seem unable to SPEAK

(SELF PORTRAIT 1985 “STARING ENDLESSLY THIS OBSESSION” MIXED MEDIA - OIL CRAYON/OIL PAINT ON PAPER/SCRATCH TECHNIQUE. SIZE: 1,200mm X 800mm - RESTORED.)

you’re always LOST for words when it really matters

allowing those with LOUD voices to BLEAT any manner of innuendos

so STAND UP and get ready to SPIN if you dare

no don’t GRIN way ahead of my time they said

well that’s what its like when you’re on a LADDER that reaches for the SKY

and I would die I could just fall down ALIVE

if I don’t find this country

won’t somebody give me the LEFT OVER forms to fill in so that I can get this all right?

But do you mind, I think I’m gonna just have to help myself if only you’d keep you

SHADOW to yourself and stop passing the BUCK

it’s a long time since I last had a FUCK

but it’s all just a matter of choice which is no way of saying anything at all

but I did not say that I was trying to COMPROMISE or even meet you a THIRD

of the way its not much fun getting RUN OVER this way

the BRUISES don’t show and this WAY seems to go on forever with myths

and counter myths COUNTER spies and counter INFORMERS counter

COUNTER BEURO’S some councillors got stuck in that war time ZONE

and all of THIS is supposed to make SENSE?!!!

But I’m just looking for my country

(PHOTOGRAPHER: CHRISTOPHER LAURENZ 2005)

last night feels like a year has gone by but for you TIME seems to have no meaning

so just try, just try holding our BREATH for a minute or two and you say you’re

CONFUSED and lack DIRECTION?

Well the answer would bite you were it a snake its so close

everything seems so close so close so close its almost WORTH the GAMBLE

today today I could not tell if you were a boy or a girl

but you would not let me hold your hand you STOPPED everything at your HEART

you weren’t prepared to take the risk and I, I, I, I, I tried, I tried, I tried

but still could not break through and yet you still expect me to break my BACK for you

SLAY three dragons for you but

I’m just looking for my country

PHOTOGRAPHER: CHRISTOPHER LAURENZ 2005)

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